As you can tell since I haven't posted in a very long time, life has been quite overwhelming lately. I have gotten myself into a place that I'm not enjoying, and it's causing me to be a person I don't want to be. Lately. life has been so very hectic. Jay is spending hours upon hours at work, trying to get ready to leave. I am trying to stay caught up with teaching, but have so many other things on my plate, that I haven't done very well with that. We have also spent a lot of time traveling in the past couple of months. We wanted to take every opportunity we could before Jay leaves. But that just means we have a lot of prep work and a lot of make-up work with our jobs. That's what I'm struggling with. I am a person who likes to do everything to the absolute best ability I can, especially when it's so important to other peoples' lives. Unfortunately, this is where I have majorly dropped the ball in the past month of so. I have a class full of 24 kids that are still not into routine as we start the ninth week of school. I have missed 14 days in the past two months of school. Not so great on me and not so great on the kids. In the mean time, they have become the wildest class in the school, with behavior problems like no other. Just last week while I was gone, I had four kids sent to the principal's office and another three kids started counseling because of their behaviors. I even had one sent to mental health to get help!!! I think I'll be the next one going to mental health! They are a handful and sadly, I've been doing the bare minimum to keep my classroom going. It should be a huge priority of mine and I haven't made it that way. I have been concentrating so much on Jay and the FRG instead. I want to serve Jay in every way possible before he leaves. I have a list of his 10 favorite meals that I said I would make for him before he goes. He hasn't received a single one of them yet. I was hoping tonight, but now we're going out to eat with some friends. I have also tried so hard to keep our house picked up and clean. I hate a messy house, but I honestly am not home long enough to keep up with laundry let along clean. Thank goodness the washer and dryer can run all night.
So, to say the least, I haven't been doing anything wholeheartedly lately, and I can't stand it anymore. I hate doing things half way, so something is going to have to change. We have no more trips planned, so I won't be missing any more school. Hopefully I can start to get a handle on my kids and lose the title of the crazy class. I'm still trying to figure out how to get the house clean. When Jay and I are both home, it's not my priority to get this house clean. Instead, I want to spend every second with him. Time is just too precious. I'm still trying to figure an answer out for that one. Otherwise, it might just have to look like this until he's gone. Sad, but reality.
Enough of that.... just had to get it out because it's eating me up inside.
Today's plan, FRG all morning, babysitting in the afternoon, and at school the rest of the time. Then out to eat with friends tonight. Hopefully that leaves some time for Jay too. We had planned a date night tonight, but not so sure that's going to happen anymore. Our dates lately seem to be as we are both sound asleep, as it's the only time we're in the same room together.
Praying for peace and contentment....
6 comments:
Hey Gina! I just wanted to know that I am thinking about it. I know how hard it is to juggle school (with a crazy class) and life, plus a deployment to top it all off. It is so overwhelming but luckily we have a God who gives us strength to persevere. I say forget about cleaning the house right now and focus on spending time with Jay. I was going to do some cleaning myself today, but would rather spend time with Kyle as he leaves tomorrow for the week to school in Garmisch before his block leave. We love you guys and are thinking about you. Let me know if there is anyways I can help you out.
You know what Gina.... Jay is not going to remember that there was dust on the shelves or he had a 7 course meal for dinner. He's going to remember the time he spent with you eating a peanut butter sandwich in his office or walking hand in hand in the rain. God is not going to give you more than you can handle. Put it all in His hands and live your life for Him. He will take care of you. Enjoy your time with Jay now!
We love you!
Yup. Just like everyone else said. Do what's most important and will be remembered years down the road. Spending time with each other. You have plenty of time later on make big meals and keep a house clean.
Live it up now. :)
Gina, you have to know that if you are using the talents that God gave you, then you are doing all you can to handle the situation. It may just take some time, God's time. And if you are doing what is right, then the problems come from home, they don't develop once they walk through the classroom door. You are experiencing a symptom of the problem and you can't fix symptoms. Jay is there for you and he will support you forever, maybe sometimes not in person but always in spirit just like your Mom and I do. Love ya, kid. Huggs and God Bless.
Oh Gina...you are so precious. Yes..forget cleaning...try to focus only on things that will grow you...and Jay especially during this time of preparation. I understand how overwhelming it gets awaiting a deployment, just know that we love you guys and we are praying for you! :) I can't wait to come home..so I can help you with school work:)
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